do more

Well, since my knee has been bothering me again lately, I decided, since rest seems to be doing nothing, to do more yoga…the counterintuitive decision. As I put this into action doing full primary over the last few days I had a few revelations: a) My knee feels better as I do more because I am able to get into some of the more hip opening postures that come after Navasana (previously I had been stopping at Bhujapidasana). b) in particular, baddha konasana, and uptavishta konasana seem to relieve alot of the pressure and stiffness I’m feeling in the knee, c) I can now do the full expression of setu bhandasana (sp?) which i have never done before….my rationale has been that I need to modify due to an old neck injury….though I know mostly I am just AFRAID that it will tweak my neck. It seems I now have the requisite strength and stability in my neck. d) I am a yoga criminal as I cannot do kurmasana, supta K. or pindasana to their full expression….though I don’t feel so bad abotu this because my certified teacher allows me to go further than my competency and finish primary with modifications. e) castor oil really does work, I have noticed a marked difference since I have been massaging it into my knees. f) the pain in my knee is very linked to my level of stress and frustration in life….I noticed this while sitting vipassana, as the jaw clenches the knee gets tight and painful, as I relax the small muscles of the face, jaw, neck and shoulders the pain disappears. If a anxious, stressful, or angry thought arises the knee immediately hurts, if I am able to stay present and relaxed in my body, the pain disappears…usually turning into heat then disappearing completely.

Awareness precedes change.

Boring

Haven’t had too much to say lately. Been feeling as if i would bore my audience, but as i created this blog for me, i want to at least keep a brief record of what has been going down in practice. At the moment i have been struck down by some sort of shiftless illness, feels like general malaise, exhaustion, achiness, some minor mucus and nausea. The knee has been acting up again since last Friday. Seems tied to emotional stuff, unexpressed frustration, unexpressed creativity, feeling somewhat stifled and overly busy in my life. Took today and yesterday off from yoga due to the knee thing and the illness. Been engaging in quite of bit of vipassana sitting practice. This has helped with the emotional stuff. The days I did practice this week(MON, TUES, WED) were somewhat modified to be gentle with the left knee.

Bendy

Yesterday I got on the mat around 1pm. I was really sore from some biking I had done the day before and expected to have a very stiff practice, but low and beholh I was quite flexible! These days feel like gifts, and a little spur on to keep me going. I remember last week I was practicing and my chest wasn’t anywhere near my legs in forward bends.

Yesterday i was able to touch my chin to my leg of the bends, and even touch chin down on my leg in Triang Mukha Eka Pada Paschimottanasana, which is an absolute first for me in my practice, ever! That pose has always been very challenging for me, and I consider it something of a breakthrough to get the chin down after almost 5 years.

I’m trying not to get too attached to this seeming ‘progress’ as it usually leads to me desiring the same amount of depth and opening in my body every day….and I push myself there and end up injured…or that has been the pattern.

On the cooking front I cooked up a batch of Saag Paneer (Spinach and homemade indian cheese). I learned how to make it about 6mths ago from a good friend of mine. This dish is a favorite of both my gf and myself so it is quite a treat to be able to make it at home. The most fun is creating the the homemade cheese. I always imagined that making cheese would be a very involved process.

This type of cheese is really easy…you need 2 quarts of whole milk and 3 tablespoons of white distilled vinegar, a cheesecloth and a strainer. You start boiling the milk and add 3 tablespoons of vinegar, the curds separate themselves and you dump the whole thing into a strainer lined with cheesecloth. Once the liquid has drained off you gather up the ends of the cheescloth and bundle up the curds, twisting the ends of the cheesecloth to squeeze out any remaining liquid. You then tie the ends together and place something flat on top of the bundle (I use a cutting board on top, and underneath) and then put a 5lb weight on the bundle of curds…which will cause it to become a patty. Let it sit with the weight on top of it for about 4 minutes and voila! you have a firm patty of homemade paneer.

Growth

Its been about 2 weeks since I planted my basil seeds and they have now sprouted into wee little plants, proudly protruding from the soil. I’ve started feeding them with a liquid (natural) fertilizer and will soon transfer them into small containers of some kind. I haven’t found exactly what i want for them yet, but I also have some small terracotta pots hanging around that I might use. This is my first foray into gardening and I am excited and worried that I may kill the little plants. I’m wondering if I can put several of these in a large pot together without worrying about their growth…or if they all need their own separate container?

I am frankly, amazed that they sprouted and am feeling quite grateful and dreaming of much pesto for the future.

On the practice front, I was able to get in my Sunday practice despite the 35 hour training I was in from Friday - Sunday. I am currently procrastinating from practice and it is ‘getting late.’ I will get on the mat today, the question at this point is will it be late morning or early afternoon?

My partner’s parent’s will be coming into town on Friday for a few days, so I will have to buckle down the discipline and willpower to make sure I get in my practices on those days. Then the following week we will be taking a short vacation for 3 days to the hots springs…yay! We haven’t had a real vacation in about 4 years…so this will be a treat, though a little too short IMO. All in all things have been good. The knees and shoulder are giving me little to no trouble and seem happy as long as I am honoring their limits and focus on strong breath and bandhas. I am currently practicing up to Bhujapidasana.

Namaste,

D