Standing

First of all I want to take a moment and thank those of you who commented and expressed sympathy because of my knee issues and other things I complained about. I’ve realized that I spend alot of time complaining here, and find that quite distasteful, but I can’t seem to stop. As far as my yoga practice goes I have many many complaints…particularly the fact that I can’t practice ‘correctly’ because I my knee issue. Anyway, I’ll try to curb the complaining in the future.

Basically everything I do causes pain in the knee at the moment, though there is less after practice than before, so I have deduced that this abbreviated practice is a good thing for me right now. I did take about 4 days off, before hitting the mat again, i wonder if I should take months off and perhaps that is what the knee needs. however I am driven by an obsessive fear that if I take a long break I will lose any modicum of flexibility and strength i have achieved and will feel so put off by the task of regaining that through practice that perhaps I woudl just give up Ashtanga all together. I’ve never been much of a quitter, I tend to show a lot of tenacity with most things I undertake, so I’m not sure if that could actually happen. I do know that my practice is not fun the way it used to be, it is slow, painstaking, somewhat painful, careful to the point of obsessiveness and not flowing the way it used to. There I go again with the complaining….anyway, I think I need to reevaluate why i doing this practice and to realize that it is the internal aspects breath, driste, bandha’s that are really imporant. I’m just sooo tired of dealing with the knee. And don’t say ‘just have surgery’ because that’s not an option for me right now. I’m been consulting with some folks, admittedly from alternative medicine, who feel it is completely possible that my knee can heal without a surgical intervention and I’ve chosen to go that route. The question is however, do I have the patience to stick with this long healing process? We shall see.

On another front I have recently started eating a small amount of meat every week as a health recommendation from another one of my alt. med. friends. So far I have felt much stronger and have seen no negative effects on my yoga practice. Again we shall see….I realized I had been having cravings for a long time for meat, but had been eschewing them for spiritual and health reasons. It is nice to have permission to indulge this.

To Coffee or not to Coffee

Lately, I’ve been having a small cup of coffee in the morning before beginning practice. I had been practicing a bit later around 7:30-8, but have lately started getting up at 5:30 due to schedule changes, job demands etc. When I did my later practice it never really felt necessary to have coffee until after my practice, but as I’ve been getting up earlier and feeling groggy, stuffed up, and all around heavy the little caffeine boost really seems to help me get going and get on the mat. I know that Sharath and Guruji both consume coffee, so it seems fairly accepted in the Ashtanga world…I also know that many other bloggers also consume it. I’m curious what others have discovered in terms of its benefits and detriments…I used to feel coffee before practice made me stiffer, though I don’t notice this at all in my early morning practices. Perhaps because I’m already so stiff.

Thoughts?

Moonday munchies

I was hungry all day long! Let me see….started off ok, fresh fruit, coffee, later on mana bread with peanut butter (midmorning snack), then a salad, and a bunch of chickpeas, veggie burger slathered in veggy slices with pickles, bun….homemade peanut butter cookies, about six, white corn chips, homemade veggie chili, big bowl of popcorn, and more white corn chips, and another double espresso in there somewhere. Doesn’t look like that much, but way more than usual. Maybe I should be eating more on a regular basis…

Nausea

Alcohol is now making me sick. So the Margarita’s didn’t go so well…..as i somehow sensed it reated a tamasic nightmare in my stomach, accompanied by the hot burrito I consumed. Fortunately, it passed quickly and my Saturday wasn’t ruined. I have noticed that as my practice gets deeper and more intense I often go through a period where I can’t drink at all, and often even lose my desire for ‘toxic’ substances. Lately, the knee has been feeling better…no doubt due to Laksmi’s magic, not all the way there, but definite progress. I haven’t had to be as careful lately, still vigilant, and thus have had deeper more intense practices…lots of sweat and purification going on. When I practice that intensely over a sustained period I find that I often cannot tolerate harsh substances at all (with the exception of coffee)…this is a good sign and I am happy about, just wish I had been a little more in tune with myself before drinking Margs and the spicy food. Anyway, my body let me know. Been feeling very good about my practice again lately, and am realizing that some deep detoxing is going on right now…duh! So no more alcohol…or I’ll stay with something more mellow like wine….Friday is the only night I ever drink anyway, but looks like I might give that up for awhile. San Pelligrino is a nice substitute.

S’Mores are the Effing Best

On a recent camping trip I discovered that my favorite food wasn’t dal, whole grains, south Indian cuisine, or even sushi.. what really wets my appetite….its S’MORES! (see pic above)

Woohoo! It was nice that our friends brought the kind of marshmellows without animal products (gelatin) in them so I could fully savor without even a trace of guilt the hard (graham cracker) and soft ‘mellow witht dripping hershey’s squares melting away between. After eating them I felt lighter and I swear the energy in my Nadi’s started to flow more cleanly and smoothly….I do believe I experienced a few moments of samadhi as I performed munchasana, consuming 5 or 6 s’mores each night. Alas I have gone without them since we returned, and gone with my so-called ‘healthier’ diet. I wonder if s’mores would be considered sattvic?

P.S. I dedicate the title of this post to Laksmi, not only did she remind me to post so my stats wouldn’t drop, but she has taken me under her wing and given me stat-building tips that resulted in the use of the word ‘Effing’ in this post.

Growth

Its been about 2 weeks since I planted my basil seeds and they have now sprouted into wee little plants, proudly protruding from the soil. I’ve started feeding them with a liquid (natural) fertilizer and will soon transfer them into small containers of some kind. I haven’t found exactly what i want for them yet, but I also have some small terracotta pots hanging around that I might use. This is my first foray into gardening and I am excited and worried that I may kill the little plants. I’m wondering if I can put several of these in a large pot together without worrying about their growth…or if they all need their own separate container?

I am frankly, amazed that they sprouted and am feeling quite grateful and dreaming of much pesto for the future.

On the practice front, I was able to get in my Sunday practice despite the 35 hour training I was in from Friday - Sunday. I am currently procrastinating from practice and it is ‘getting late.’ I will get on the mat today, the question at this point is will it be late morning or early afternoon?

My partner’s parent’s will be coming into town on Friday for a few days, so I will have to buckle down the discipline and willpower to make sure I get in my practices on those days. Then the following week we will be taking a short vacation for 3 days to the hots springs…yay! We haven’t had a real vacation in about 4 years…so this will be a treat, though a little too short IMO. All in all things have been good. The knees and shoulder are giving me little to no trouble and seem happy as long as I am honoring their limits and focus on strong breath and bandhas. I am currently practicing up to Bhujapidasana.

Namaste,

D

Sunday

Sunday means no pressure for yoga practice, grocery shopping, cooking, and relaxing in preparation for what looks like another hectic week. Today I am cooking up some Minestrone soup, which according to the author of the cook book is an Italian word that means ‘everything in the kitchen’…and it does call for a variety of ingredients. I’m cooking it up in the slow cooker, and the house is already filling up with the wonderful combination of scents from this concoction. I’ve had the slow cooker for about 2 years and during the winter it generally gets used 1 to 2x per week. This week I’m planning also to make a Winter Tomato Soup.

Practice today was very concentrated and little or no stopping, getting zoned out etc. I did primary up to supta K. as usual. I’ve noticed very little change in the depth I can get into in all of these postures, but I’ve been experiencing a lot more strength in my arms, shoulders, back and core. I’ve been quite stiff lately, and haver been doing almost all morning practices. AFternoon, I’m like gumby, but when I loosen up in these postures in the morning I’ll know i’ve really made some progress. The shoulder has been bothering me a little bit, but is loads better after yoga. I’m thinking of going in for some acupuncture for both the shoulder and the left knee, which is still very stiff when not practicing.

That’s all I have to report.

Namaste.